Have you ever watched Striptease and thought, "Why the hell am I watching this movie?" And then, perhaps, "I've always wanted to spin around a pole like that." Would you be surprised to know you're not alone?
The truth is, most women I've talked to have, at one time or another, fantasized about being a stripper. Many have even tried out some moves on their lovers. Sound like fun? It is! A striptease is a great way to show your partner how sexy you think you are, and believe me, he or she will agree.
Step 1: PreparationI'm not going to tell you that a spontaneous strip will not make jaws drop. I think we can all agree that anything that involves you removing your own clothes in front of your sweetie will be applauded. However, if you really want to treat your "customer" to something special, plan an actual striptease show.
Before the music even begins, well, you must pick it. Obviously, keep your and your partner's tastes in mind, but know that it's not quite going to have the same effect if you're seductively removing clothing to, say, something by Hanson or Stryper. Try to choose something that's got a slow-ish tempo so you can take your time and really tease. Just make sure it's not too slow as the song may end and you'll only have a couple of pieces off. Practically anything from the "9 1/2 Weeks" soundtrack is great -- a cliché, maybe, but it works.
Next, you have to plan what you're going to wear. Now there may be some shopping involved here, but you won't have to spend much money. In fact, don't -- there's a good chance that once you're down to your undergarments, they will be ripped right off your body! Start from your bottom layer and work your way out. Your final "outfit" is the showstopper -- this is a strip TEASE, remember -- so get something you KNOW will drive your honey mad. It can be a tiny bra and g-string combo, maybe a corset -- whatever makes you feel sexy and desirable.
Once that's accomplished, you can pretty much pick whatever's in your closet for the outer layer. A good, "naughty" choice is always the Lolita-esque, schoolgirl look, but you may choose anything really. You could go the button-down business route -- a tie would later make a great prop (think looping behind his or her head to pull it into your breasts; things along those lines). The sky's the limit!
Finally, accessories. This includes everything you might need for a theme (glasses, hats, ties, etc.) as well as the all-important thigh highs (or garter belt and stockings) and stiletto heels. A word of caution here: make sure you can actually move around and dance in these shoes. While I realize that stilettos don't generally come in heights under three inches, some are easier to maneuver in than others. If you don't happen to have any in your closet, ask a friend.
Other accessories that are fun to include are long necklaces (they look amazing when you're down to the essentials -- trust me), long gloves and feather boas.
Step 2: PracticeYou're not auditioning for the next Star Search so I don't mean that you need to choreograph a huge number. Simply listen to the music you've chosen a few times and move to it. It doesn't have to be spins and splits, just movement. Once you're comfortable with that, do a dry run with your costume on to figure out when and what you'll be removing. Again, this is a tease, so make it slow, make it sexy. This will also give you an opportunity to rethink your costume if anything is too difficult to unbutton or unhook -- you don't want your come-hither dance to turn into a Chevy Chase pratfall.
Step 3: Showtime!Do not be nervous. This is fun. If it causes you any undue embarrassment or discomfort, then you shouldn't be doing it. I understand there will be some butterflies -- it's perfectly natural, but realize that if you feel seductive and desirable, so will your audience. Plus, you're performing for your lover who (hopefully) already finds you seductive and desirable!
If you can, dim the lights a bit. Barring that, turn out the lights, but light lots of candles. Strut your beautiful self out there and start your music. If you really want to drive him or her to distraction, climb up on a coffee table or anything that puts you up a little higher. (Please, please, if you do this, make sure your stage is sturdy ahead of time. I think we can all imagine how quickly a trip to the ER would kill the mood.) Merely sway suggestively for a bit without actually removing anything. Do remember to turn from time to time, especially if your sweetheart is particularly enamored with your backside. Do a little booty shaking. If your hair is up, let it down and softly whip it back and forth. Check the look on your lover's face. Has the mouth slackened a bit? Then it's time to move on to the good stuff.
Start with something innocuous -- a glove is great. Very slowly push the glove down your arm, then with your teeth, suggestively pull at the cloth on each finger. Once your glove is loose enough to pull off, do so, but again, slowly. Then throw it at your lover. Please don't wing it at him or her; it sort of ruins the mood. At any rate, you may then move on to whatever you choose with two exceptions: your thigh highs (or garter and stockings) and your shoes. These should stay on until you're down to your dainties. I must ask you to trust me again.
No matter what you're removing, the key is to do it as slowly as possible. Tease. Unbutton your blouse and only let your shoulder or a part of your back show before your shirt makes it all the way off. Flash your partner, then quickly close your blouse. Spin around to give him or her several tantalizing angles. Then do the same with your skirt; simply lift it to expose a thigh, then quickly flip it up in back for a peek-a-boo shot of your butt. Make your partner wait. And always toss the removed garment at your captivated audience.
When you are finally free of the confines of your outfit, continue to move and dance seductively. This is when the long necklace comes in quite handy. Not only will it sway beautifully, but it will also draw attention to your breasts, which is a good thing. Now this may sound ridiculous, but honestly, your lover may not know what to focus on and you will then laugh from his or her eyeballs jittering out of their sockets.
You are now down to your underpinnings, shoes and stockings. Let your lover enjoy this for a few moments before you tantalizingly, excruciatingly, slowly roll each stocking down your leg (obviously, if you're going the garter belt route, you'll want to undo those first). Try propping your leg on something that's close by your sweetie, like the arm of the sofa or chair, while you're doing this. Once you get to your ankle, slide your shoe off long enough to get the stocking off, then put your shoes back on and continue dancing.
Now that your sweetie is a quivering mass of jelly, climb down from the stage or slowly make your way over to him or her, and tease for a few more moments before surprising them with an impromptu lap dance. Or, if you'd rather, merely strut into the bedroom. It may take them a moment to register, but I can guarantee they will be in shortly!
Believe me, once you've done a striptease for your favorite playmate, you'll want to do more. And I can guarantee he or she will want you to, as well. The main point to remember is this is a fun exercise that will titillate both of you. Plus, it'll be something you can talk about for years to come and even plan new shows together. So go buy some hot undies and get stripping!