Getting assistance has been on the minds of disabled people for quite some time but only recently has been discussed in a few academic articles and amongst community members in a variety of different venues. The most frequently-asked questions about sex and personal assistance services (PAS) are: With what types of disabled sex activities might an individual with disability need assistance? And, how would you find a person willing to assist with such a private yet important activity?While choosing the right sex toy and/or modifying it can assist a person with a disability with being sexual, sometimes those changes are just not enough to help facilitate the activity. There are people with disabilities who may need assistance from another person for masturbation or having sex with someone else. PAS refers to a person assisting someone with a disability to perform tasks aimed at maintaining well-being, personal appearance, comfort, safety, and interaction with the community and society as a whole. And, while sex is not specifically included within the typical definition of PAS, it certainly does fall within the domain of "well-being."Below are examples of sexual activities that individuals with disabilities may need PAS for experiencing their sexual pleasure:Physical ImpairmentsRemoving clothes; positioning for masturbation; positioning for partner sex; transferring in and out of the wheelchair onto the floor, couch, or bed; stimulating a partner's body with your hand or sex toy; stimulating your own body with a hand or sex toy; cleaning up and getting redressed; using birth control (condoms, diaphragm, birth control pill, etc.)
Not surprisingly, this topic has been quite controversial for many reasons. Agencies that provide funding for PAS will not specifically indicate that they would approve sexual activity as one of the areas of basic needs for people with disabilities. However, bowel, bladder, and menstrual care are typically approved as appropriate activities.Sex is personal, private, and a basic need. So what do people with disabilities do? They ask for assistance from friends or service providers other than their usual personal assistant. Most often they pay out of pocket for this service. Or sadly, some disabled people choose not to pursue their sexual experiences. While people without disabilities may take for granted their right to experience their sexuality, people with disabilities have to fight for this right at various times throughout their lives. Is it all worth it? Absolutely!Dr. Linda R. Mona is a nationally recognized expert, and well-known advocate, for disability rights. She has authored numerous presentations and papers on the topic of sexuality and disability, in particular, and often runs workshops on this very important topic. Information provided by MyPleasure, while accurate and factual, is of a general nature and is presented only for educational and informational purposes. MyPleasure is not in the business of providing specific medical services and should never replace consultation with a qualified health or medical provider. Readers should consider brand names mentioned only as examples and not specific endorsements or recommendations by MyPleasure. If you or a loved one is ill, please check with a licensed medical professional for personal diagnosis and treatment.