Let me begin by putting your mind at ease: The fact that your wife did not bleed
does not mean she was not a virgin. In fact, many women do not bleed when
they have intercourse the first time.
The myth of virginal blood has a long and very destructive history. In some
parts of the world, it is still considered acceptable to kill a woman who does
not shed blood on the wedding bed. In Italy, the tradition of putting out the
honeymoon sheets for display is still observed in some communities.
It is well-documented that as far back as the Middle Ages, women would give their
daughters a vial of chicken blood, or advise them to place a blood-soaked sponge
or cloth inside their vagina, prior to the wedding night "just in case."
Not all of these women were non-virgins; it was simply understood by their
mothers that not everyone bleeds.
The origin of this myth has to do with the fact that most female children are
born with a small barrier of skin inside the vagina known as the "hymen."
This skin, when ruptured, does often bleed. But -- and this is an important
"but" -- even the lack of a hymen does not mean that a woman has had
intercourse. Some women are born without one, but most commonly, it ruptures
during common activities such as gymnastics, horseback riding, or even normal
stretching. If a girl has ever used a tampon or inserted anything into her
vagina, the hymen will generally no longer remain intact.
Therefore, the presence of a hymen, or lack thereof, is not a good indication
of whether or not a woman is a virgin. In fact, the term "virgin" is
not really used by sexologists anymore. "Sexual initiation" is really
a more appropriate expression. So, if your wife says she did not have
intercourse before you were married, that is the best indication, not a few
drops of blood.
