Sometimes when I am riding a crowded bus or subway, I like to sort of bump or rub up against women. They usually just think that it is accidental. It gives me a little thrill, but I started thinking, is there anything wrong with this?
Not to sound judgmental or moralistic but... YES, there is something wrong with this! Unless you are asking their permission first, you are coercing women into activities for your own sexual pleasure. That is wrong.
The behavior you describe is sometimes referred to as frotteurism or frottage. It is considered to be a paraphillia (a non-normative form of sexuality). It is also illegal.
In the last couple of years, I have answered hundreds of questions in this column and I have rarely said something is a definite no-no, but this qualifies. Do not delude yourself into thinking that your unsuspecting victims are somehow unaware of, or even enjoying your behavior. They are simply probably afraid or unsure what to do.
If you've been doing this because you simply didn't know any better, then by all means stop now before you do any more harm or get yourself into serious trouble. If this has become a preferred form of sexual excitement, then do seek out a good therapist.
I know that you may be thinking that you really aren't doing anything wrong, or that you couldn't possibly get caught. I had a patient years ago who felt similarly -- I used to see him when he was sent over once a week from prison.
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