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Question
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I'm a nineteen-year-old year woman and have a boyfriend. A bunch of my friends
and I were talking about sex, and we got into the topic of the prostate gland
and why gay men enjoy being on the receiving end of anal sex.
I became curious about this so when I was messing around with my boyfriend the
next night, I tried to stimulate him in this area. He got very mad at me and
told me that only gay guys like being touched here. What did I do wrong? Is it
true that only gay guys like this activity?
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Answer
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If you are guilty of anything it is of trying to please your partner. The act of
stimulating the prostate gland (done by inserting a finger up the anus and
slightly pulling the finger forward while it is inserted, using sex toys to
stimulate this area, or engaging in anal sex) results in a pleasurable experience
for most men. However, it is common to think that this is a type of sexual activity which only gay men participate in. This is
probably because most anal sexual activity is mistakenly associated solely with
gay men. The truth is that many heterosexual AND gay men enjoy this type of stimulation.
However, the reality also is that some heterosexual men have homophobia (fears
of being gay or being thought of as gay by others) and would rather sacrifice
some sexual pleasure than take the chance of being perceived as engaging in
sexual activities thought to be gay.
Once again, you did nothing wrong. Other male partners may have had a very
different reaction. Given this experience, you may want to ask your boyfriend
permission prior to trying new sexual tricks. Talk with your boyfriend about
this matter and let him know of your intentions. Who knows, this conversation
may lead to spicing up your sex life.
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Best,
Dr. Sandor Gardos
MyPleasure provides up-to-date and useful sexual education materials in combination
with a store that allows people to buy, try, and learn about new aspects of
sexuality. We believe everybody deserves a great sex life.
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