I can see how your situation would be confusing. While I do not have an easy
answer for you, I certainly do have some thoughts about your question.
Congratulations on finding a partner who loves to please you. However, this
does not solve your problems. Sexual desire can be influenced by many things,
including physical changes (e.g., low testosterone levels) or psychological
difficulties (e.g., stress, depression). Your confusion about whether or not
you have sexual attraction to both men and/or women may be separate from your
sexual interest question.
In recent years, sexual behavior with the same gender has been thought to be
less rigid. Most sexologists do not describe people's sexual activity in
categories of straight sex, gay sex, and/or bisexual sex. It is thought
that all of us fall on a continuum of attraction -- of being attracted to
both men and women. How we choose to express ourselves depends upon many
things including: 1) who we are attracted to, 2) how we feel about societal
beliefs about sex with either men or women, and 3) personal belief systems.
Sounds like you have a good relationship, and that it may be worth your time
to talk with a counselor or therapist to help tease away what might be going on.
Sometimes, support and guidance from an objective third party can be extremely
helpful in trying to figure these things out. Your gynecologist can also rule
out any possible physical problems. Best wishes.
