|
Question
|
|
I am a lesbian who just started a relationship with a woman who says she is bisexual.
I believe that people are either straight or gay, and that people who say that they
are bi are just afraid to come out to others. Am I off base with having this perspective?
|
Answer
|
|
While I think that many people share your perspective, I tend to see sexual orientation less
in terms of categories and more in terms of a continuum. In the past, people have felt as though
they needed to choose between being straight or lesbian/gay. Individuals identifying as being
attracted to both genders, often calling themselves bisexual, were thought to be confused. Much
of the research and train of thought these days is that people tend to fall somewhere between
identifying as being straight or lesbian/gay. There has also been a trend away from labeling
people by their sexual activity. For example, a woman may identify as being bisexual, but choose
to engage in sex with women only. Here, she maintains her identity (i.e. feeling attracted to
both genders) but chooses to be sexual only with women. What we refer to as sexual orientation
encompasses everything from behavior and fantasy, to love and personal identity. It is possible
to be at different points on all of these factors.
I do not, however, think that your perspective is always wrong. Talk with your new partner about
this issue. If you see it as problematic it's better to get this conversation going earlier, rather
than later in the relationship.
|
Best,
Dr. Sandor Gardos
MyPleasure provides up-to-date and useful sexual education materials in combination
with a store that allows people to buy, try, and learn about new aspects of
sexuality. We believe everybody deserves a great sex life.
|
|
|
|
|
