My boyfriend really wants to have a threesome with my best friend and me. At first I agreed to it, but now that I have had time to think about it, I don't think that it is right for me. I am just not comfortable with it.
Are threesomes normal? How can I make it not so uncomfortable for me?
You bring up a very important issue -- the fact that our belief systems can vary from that of our partners when it comes to sex. Your question brings several thoughts to mind.
Threesomes are normal for people who are interested and consenting to participate within this type of relationship or sexual activity. Some people are comfortable with these experiences and others are not. You need to do some soul searching on this topic. Think about how you feel about being sexual with your friend and your partner. Is this consistent with how you feel about romantic relationships? How might this affect the way that you feel about your partner and your best friend? Are you willing to take risks with these relationships? Do you think that all three of you can have sex for fun and that it will have no effect on your relationships? These are all questions that that may be helpful to think about.
There is no magic way to "make yourself" feel comfortable with this type of situation. Think about the questions that I proposed and see how you feel about the answers. If you think that you can consider the threesome as a fun adventure and that it would be OK with you, go for it!
If you force yourself to engage in this type of activity against your feelings, you may end up being angry with yourself or losing two important relationships. Talk with your partner about your feelings and let him know of your concerns.
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