Let me begin by commending you. You are clearly a very sexually evolved person
for your age even if you have not yet had an orgasm.
I agree with you that it is very important for women to become comfortable and
familiar with their bodies if they want to enjoy sex by themselves or with a
partner. Unfortunately, women are frequently discouraged from exploring their
own bodies and thus aren't even sure what kinds of stimulation they like. This
is one of the major reasons why so many women complain that they never have
orgasms with a partner. You must learn what you like before you can show or
teach your partner.
The first thing I would recommend is that you simply relax and explore. Don't
make getting aroused or having an orgasm a goal. At first, all you want to do
is learn more about your body. After that, you can move onto trying different
types of stimulation on different areas to see what feels good, but even then,
simply enjoy the sensations, whether or not they lead to orgasm.
Another thing I would suggest is to try and explore using a mirror and a
flashlight. Women can't see their genitals as easily as men, so a flashlight
and mirror can be a great help.
I would also recommend that you purchase a copy of the excellent book Sex for
One by Betty Dodson, or For Yourself by Lonnie Barbach. Both have
wonderful suggestions on learning more about your own body and what turns you on.
Enjoy.
