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Question
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Will someone PLEASE tell all the men out there that the idea that all women gush
rivers of fluid from their vaginas every time they get the slightest bit excited
is a total MYTH! True, I know that some women are like that, but it is nowhere
near "the norm. I think I produce what I believe is a normal quantity of
fluid, enough to notice and lubricate, but never enough to drip or soak through
clothing or anything like that. Sometimes I like to use some bottled lube because
it makes things more comfortable with my larger-than-average boyfriend. But his
last girl was one of those extra-wet ones, so now he thinks that if I want to
use extra lube, it means I'm not excited enough. I don't know how to convince
him that it's not a reflection on his manliness or skills; what can I do?
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Answer
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It is true that the amount a woman lubricates varies quite a bit from person to
person. Some women do soak the sheets, while others lubricate much more moderately.
It is unfortunate that many men think that lubrication is the one, only, and best
sign of sexual arousal. It is not. Nor do most women secrete buckets of lubricant
at the first hint of sex. Many things such as genetics, medications, and menopause
can inhibit lubrication. Even if none of these things are at play, a woman may be
quite aroused and still not lubricate that much. Conversely, the fact that a
woman is lubricating does not mean that she is fully aroused either. All too
many men do some sort of "dipstick check" with their finger and then
move onto intercourse if a woman is wet. The reality is that lubrication is
simply one of the first signs of arousal. It actually takes women much longer
to become totally aroused and enjoy intercourse to the fullest.
So, guys, stop being so obsessed with lubrication. Either way, it is not the way
to gauge whether a woman is turned on or not.
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Best,
Dr. Sandor Gardos
MyPleasure provides up-to-date and useful sexual education materials in combination
with a store that allows people to buy, try, and learn about new aspects of
sexuality. We believe everybody deserves a great sex life.
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