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Question
I am a married woman, 39 years old, and have been married for ten years. My question is: Do most men and women continue to masturbate even after marriage? I have done so and just wanted to know if this is the norm.


Answer
There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty for masturbating even though you are married. Most men and women do indeed continue to masturbate when they are in a relationship, and it does not mean that there is anything wrong. In fact, research shows that those people who masturbate more also have more (and more satisfying) sex.

People have sex, as well as masturbate, for all sorts of reasons. Often men and women feel like having an orgasm or pleasuring themselves as a quick stress reliever, as a "pick-me-up", or just because they are very aroused but don't want to go through the whole process of sex. Many couples masturbate together because it is a very intimate sexual experience -- this is sometimes referred to as mutual masturbation. Masturbating "together" is practiced by couples during phone sex and cyber sex when they can't be together.

Masturbating is also a great way to learn about your own body, which invariably makes for better sex with a partner. Men can use masturbation as a way to learn how to control their orgasms, while women can learn how to have orgasms more easily.

Sometimes people feel that if everything was perfect in a sexual relationship, then neither partner would "need" to masturbate. Nothing could be further from the truth. Simply put, good sex begets more good sex -- in all its forms. In fact, many couples masturbate together and find it a very enjoyable part of their relationship. Honestly, there is no need to feel guilty. Listen to the good doctor: Masturbation is good for you!


Best,
Dr. Sandor Gardos signature
Dr. Sandor Gardos

MyPleasure provides up-to-date and useful sexual education materials in combination with a store that allows people to buy, try, and learn about new aspects of sexuality. We believe everybody deserves a great sex life.

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