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Question
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Four years after lung cancer, I'm a 45-year-old male at that age where
men start worrying about prostate cancer. I like to masturbate, but my
wife makes me feel shameful about it -- we don't have a great sex life,
but I'm only trying to protect myself from further bouts of cancer. Do
you have any advice?
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Answer
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It sounds like you are talking about three separate issues: 1)
relationship difficulties 2) concerns about prostate problems, and 3)
masturbation. I'll tackle them in order:
For your relationship difficulties, may I suggest you see a counselor or
therapist to sort things out? Communication is key with every
relationship, especially when it comes to sexuality. Tell your wife that
she is important to you and that you would like your sex life together
to improve. Seeing a therapist can help put you both back on the right
track.
As far as your prostate concerns, it is important to keep annual
appointments with your physician, whatever the state of your health.
Urologists monitor male patients for prostate cancer through exam and
blood work, so as long as you are attending to your health care, eating
a healthy diet and engaging in exercise, you are probably taking care of
yourself fairly well.
Finally, masturbation is a very common and natural thing to do -- no
matter what reasons you may have for doing it. However, some people
believe it is shameful or immoral. It really depends upon your belief
system or how you feel about your wife's disapproval. If you wish to
continue to engage in self-pleasuring, simply do it in private and keep
it to yourself -- many people do not share this kind of information with
their partners. The decision is up to you. You might also bring up this
issue with the therapist you see.
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Best,
Dr. Linda Mona, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in disability and sexuality issues and a disabled woman living with a mobility impairment.
MyPleasure provides up-to-date and useful sexual education materials in combination
with a store that allows people to buy, try, and learn about new aspects of
sexuality. We believe everybody deserves a great sex life.
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