Sex Toys for Men, Women and Couples

When considering a traditional dildo, think about what you want. Some people prefer the simple sleekness of a smooth jelly dong. Others enjoy a more realistic shape and texture. Some people like small traditional dildos and others like obscenely large ones. It's really up to you. You might try experimenting with different vegetables to determine what size works best for you. When you find a veggie that fits just right, hunt for a traditional dildo of approximate size and shape. If you're not comfortable with the vegetarian approach, you may have to let trial and error determine your acceptable girth. As for texture, stroke a few floor models if you're shopping live. Pick the material that appeals to you most. If you don't find it potentially erotic, it's a colossal waste of time.

Traditional dildos are available in a variety of different styles, most of which can be categorized into the following groups:

• Realistic Dildos Realistic dildos look just like the real thing -- in fact, they're often cast from molds created from real penises. Like all sex toys, realistic dildos come in a variety of sizes, shapes, textures and skin tones, ranging from a healthy six inches to a whopping foot and a half. Most realistic dildos are made from silicone, jelly or rubber -- textures that closely resemble human skin. Many realistic dildos have testicles, veins and other natural anomalies. Increasingly popular are those cast from famous penises -- those belonging to popular adult film stars! Some people really enjoy the heft and natural look of these toys; others are a bit intimidated by these members.

• Smooth Dildos Similar to slimline vibrators, these dildos are smooth, sleek and seamless, usually constructed of silicone, jelly or translucent rubber. These toys are relatively uncommon; the lack of friction makes them undesirable for many people. However, like all sex toys, they have their devotees: some people swear the smooth ride is delectable.

• G-Spot Dildos G-Spot dildos come in two basic shapes: long, smooth shafts with a tilted tip, and stubby, knobby thick shafts with wide midsections. Whichever your preference, both function in relatively the same way -- they're designed to hit a woman's G-Spot, that elusive area about three inches into the vaginal canal. Women point the knobby or tilted end upward, toward the magical spot, and apply pressure. This type of dildo isn't particularly appealing to women who don't enjoy G-Spot stimulation, but those who do say G-Spot dildos are incredible. If you aren't sure about your tastes, try one out. You might really like it. If you're interested in finding out if G-Spot stimulation is for you, these dildos are a good way to begin play. Use lots of lube and remember that most women respond to firm G-Spot pressure, not gentle stroking. These types of dildos are also great for stimulating the prostate.

• "Other" Dildos For whatever reason, some people prefer that their sex toys resemble anything but a penis. We've seen silicone, jelly and rubber vegetables, dolphins, mysterious wand-like creations, space-age designs with little dangly things hanging off the end -- we don't question anything! If a particular dildo exists, as weird as it may look, it must have a market. Keep an open mind and give it a try.

Three additional things are critical for safe anal play: communication, relaxation, and lots and lots of lubrication. Unlike a woman's vagina, the anal canal doesn't produce any sort of lubrication. The last thing you want to experience during anal play is the sharp, shooting pains that can accompany the insertion of a dry dildo. Take it slow, be gentle, and respect your partner's boundaries.

While many kinds of dildos can be used for anal play, you should always select one with a flared base so it doesn't slip in farther than you intend. The last thing you want to become is an emergency-room anecdote! For safest play, select a dildo that has been specifically designed for anal play.

Available in all sizes and shapes, anal dildos have a wide, flared base attached to a tapering shaft, which can vary in size and shape from a long, twisted phallus-shaped rod, to a short, stocky model that can be worn without restraint. Many people enjoy the sensation of fullness, similar to the sensation women experience during vaginal penetration. Other people employ a thrusting motion with their anal dildos. Whatever works. Just be gentle -- otherwise you risk anal fissures and a host of other complications.

Some people really enjoy the subtle sensations produced by these types of toys. Others say that beads and balls don't do much for them. Either way, you'll experience a totally different sensation than you would with a vibrator or regular dildo, so be patient and keep an open mind. You might find a new favorite!

Ben Wa Balls
Legend has it that women in ancient Japan or China first inserted egg-shaped hollow balls carved from ivory, then spent hours gently rocking back and forth, eventually experiencing a subtle-yet-satisfying orgasm. Today, Ben Wa Balls are made from a variety of substances, including gold plating, silver, steel, plastic, Lucite and any combination thereof. Fancier models are packaged quite glamorously, and can make a fun gift for your lover.

Some women claim they wear them all day, experiencing clandestine fun at the office, the grocery store -- even on dates. Other women enjoy using them for partner sex, and say their male partners love encountering the smooth balls during penetration. However, some women say the toys are little more than useless, producing a sensation so slight, they may as well not be using the balls at all.

While many Ben Wa novices express alarm at the thought of inserting and removing the balls, it's relatively simple: just pop them in and squeeze them out. You may want to experiment with location; some people enjoy holding them lower in the vagina, while others try to position them directly behind their G-Spots. Just don't aim for the cervix -- while you're unlikely to have a problem with them slipping past your body's gateway to the uterus, you probably won't enjoy any kind of clanging sensation that close to your cervix, a region some women find particularly sensitive.

• Use lots of lubrication!

• Test the strength of the cord connecting the beads. If it seems weak, don't use the toy -- you don't want to lose a bead during play!

• Check the surfaces of all the beads for seams or rough spots. File down any sharp places with an emery board.

Harnesses and strap-ons can utilize regular dildos, but there are also ones specifically designed to work with a harness. Select any kind of unit that appeals to you, but make sure you get one with a flared base. Otherwise, your toy will slip right out of its holster. You should also keep size in mind; the harness usually cuts an inch or so off your dildo. Made from sturdy leather, flexible vinyl or elastic, strap-ons or harnesses come in three basic shapes:

• Thigh Harness This harness straps to your upper thigh, holding the dildo steady at crotch level. People seem to really enjoy the flexibility and comfort of this model, probably because it leaves the wearer's genitals free for manipulation.
• G-string or Panty Harness Shaped like a G-string or pair of strappy panties, this harness slips on like underwear and positions the dildo directly over the wearer's pubic bone. It's a sturdy construction that many women enjoy for the sheer stability and power associated with wearing it. Not a great option for most men, however, or for those who detest the feel of a G-string or thong between their buttocks.
• Shorts Harness Resembling a pair of bicycle pants, these "shorts" have a front cutout for a dildo. Extremely comfortable and stable, this type of harness is very popular. The only real drawback is that is completely covers the genitals, making simultaneous digital manipulation difficult.