Bachelorette Party How-To

So, your best friend got engaged and asked you to be her maid of honor. Naturally, you're thrilled for her and you're excited to do it. But these emotions can quickly turn into panic when you realize that you have no organizational capabilities whatsoever and will be asked to coordinate the bridesmaids, tend to your friend, and, oh my god, plan a bachelorette party!

First, take a deep, cleansing breath. Better? Now, while we may not be able to help with your other duties, we can help you plan an outstanding party for the bride-to-be and your other girlfriends without adding to the levels of stress in anyone's life. From setting the date to putting the scrapbook together, we've got loads of ideas that we're more than happy to share!

Of course, being who we are and doing what we do, our more specific party suggestions tend towards the naughty side. If you know for a fact that certain people would be completely offended by something a little racy, or if the bride's relatives are going to show for a short while and are expecting tea and gift opening, then you'll either want to keep things on the polite side or plan for the real fun to begin after they leave. In other words, just know your crowd and plan accordingly.

Now, with that out of the way, let's get started!

Choose Your Date
This may, in fact, be the most difficult part of the entire process. Obviously, you'll want to start by chatting with the bride-to-be and have her give you a range of dates that work for her. Between dress fittings, interviewing DJs and the like, her free time is going to be at a premium. Also, if you can possibly avoid it, do not plan the bachelorette party for the night before the big event. That's just an invitation to disaster.

Put Together the Guest List
After you've chosen the date, if you're lucky enough to still have the bride's attention, go ahead and help her make a list of women she would like to attend. Remember that she's completely stressed, trying to keep track of a million things, so if you see any glaring omissions, go ahead and bring them to her attention.

There's a good chance there will be some guests on your list who live out of town, but don't worry excessively about planning around them -- unless, of course, they're very special friends or relatives that your bachelorette specifically wants there. As for anyone else, if they really want to come, they'll make it happen.

Decide on a Theme
No, the naughty part is not the theme; it's simply the type of party you're having. The theme is how you want to present the party to these fun-lovin' gals. There are tons to choose from and you can really do just about anything, but here are a few ideas you might want to try:

• A Sex and the City Party. Serve Cosmos, Flirtinis, Bellinis -- anything that ends in a vowel, really (you can find recipes online). Have everyone come dressed as their favorite character and make sure you have fabulous, female-centric music in the CD player. You can even present the bride with Charlotte's favorite vibrator, the Rabbit Pearl, and complete the theme by giving Hidden Pleasures lipstick vibes for party favors!

• A Spa Party. Put together goodie bags of hand-held massage tools, massage oils, candles and one great waterproof vibrator. These can run the gamut from inexpensive to premium, depending on your budget. Hire a professional masseuse to come give everyone a 30-minute massage of their choice (ask around or call local day spas to see if they hire out). Make sure you tell guests to bring a robe to change into, and have a selection of facial masks, nail polishes, and other body treatment indulgences for everyone to play around with. Make the surroundings as peaceful, comfortable and flattering as possible with candlelight and soothing music, so that no one feels self-conscious or exposed. Serve champagne and Mimosas to help ease them into a serene state of mind.

In choosing a theme, you'll also want to consider how big a group you anticipate having. Smaller may mean more lavish, but it also means less people to pay for it. If money is not an object, then the sky's the limit!

Decide on Your Venue
Do you want to stay in or go out? It's easier to do the whole theme thing in someone's abode, plus, there's the privacy issue and the ability for everyone to merely pass out (from fun, of course) right where they sit. Besides, if there is alcohol involved, you don't want anyone driving home afterward, and if someone overindulges, she'll have the option of having a semi-private place to recover.

Should you decide to go out, you may want to find a restaurant or party house with a private room so you can do your shindig the way you want and not offend any onlookers. However, you'll have to be up-front with the events manager and let them know what may be involved with your party. You'll also have to plan accordingly with your RSVPs, as there will be a minimum for food and drink, and you will probably need to give the manager a final headcount, generally a few days before your event.

Send Those Invites!
These can be as fancy or as plain as you want, but they should tie in with your theme and include all pertinent information, such as time, place, dress and directions. If cost is an issue or you just want to save some time, you can use electronic invitations -- if most or all of the invitees have email that they actually check on a regular basis. Not only can they be customized, but you can send them out to everyone near and far for very little cost and effort.

Regardless of how you send the invitations, they should mention that this is a naughty bachelorette party, so that all involved know exactly what they're in for: sex toys, sex talk (although it is women getting together, so that should be a given) and possibly more! How down-and-dirty this soiree becomes is up to you and your crowd (see the sidebar regarding strippers). But, please, don't do anything that may land you or your guests in hot water with the law. There's nothing more embarrassing than having to explain to the in-laws as to why the blushing bride had to be bailed out of the pokey.

So, you've put the wheels in motion; now you've got to put this gig together! Don't be afraid to ask for friends to pitch in with anything and everything. If you know people who can get you a deal on decorations, use them. Do your friends have food or drink specialties they like to break out from time to time? Ask them to do so. Make things as easy on yourself as possible so that you can actually enjoy your gathering.

If you're paying someone like a psychic or masseuse to come to your event, make sure you have a written contract spelling out exactly what's expected of them -- how long they should plan to be there, services rendered and total fee, including any deposits. This should help make sure everything goes as planned, and it also will protect you and your money in the event of a cancellation.

Games and Party Favors
You've sent the invitations, your venue is set, contract negotiations are over and there's a veritable army of people doing your bidding. Now, it's time for the nitty gritty: deciding on icebreaking games to play to put everyone at ease and choosing party favors for your guests to take home with them. Again, keep your theme in mind, but don't be a slave to it.

Icebreakers can be anything from regular party games tweaked for the occasion (think "Pin the Penis on the Man") to going around the room and sharing embarrassing stories, such as the first time you got caught having sex. Games are generally easier and don't put people on the spot as much, but keep them simple and short. Remember, this is an icebreaker, and there is much more fun to be had! If you're stumped for ideas, there are countless books and websites on party games, and most can easily be geared toward a sexy shindig.

As far as party favors go, it's nice to send each guest home with a fun reminder of what a blast they had. While you won't be able to find one item that's all things to all people, you do want to give them something they might actually use. Here are five fun ideas that can be given by themselves or as part of a goodie bag. These also make great prizes for party games! If you want more ideas, be sure to check out our Bachelorette Boutique.

• Hidden Pleasures -- a tiny lipstick vibe that goes with everything!
• Red Zinger -- a tiny, vibrating bullet that comes in oh-so-racy red.

Let's Party!
Everything's decorated, goodie bags are stuffed, food is made and drink stations are set up (including mixers and non-alcoholic beverages for non-drinkers). There is really nothing more you can do except greet your arrivals, make sure they help themselves to refreshments and keep things moving along. Your structured events -- such as icebreakers, bridal gift opening and other activities -- will take care of themselves, for the most part; you'll merely need to get everyone's attention to get things underway. Again, take the pressure off by delegating responsibilities to other good friends of the bachelorette to ensure refreshments are replenished as needed, gifts are collected in one place, and timed activities like massages are staying well within the agreed-upon limits.

Of course, you'll want to document all of the goings-on (well, OK, most of them, anyway) and the easiest way to do that is with photos. Our suggestion is to appoint one female to capture the landmark moments, including a group picture at the beginning of the evening, as well as have single-use cameras around for everyone to take some snaps. Yes, it's done at countless weddings and parties, but there's a reason for it! You'll be happy you did when you get them all developed and re-live the great time everyone had. Make sure you get some group photos, in addition to candids, since the bride-to-be will have plenty of solo shots to look at after the wedding.

The Aftermath
This is where going out has one great advantage: you don't have to worry about cleanup. But you can use your core group of friends to make this chore less heinous, or even think about hiring a professional cleaning service (just be sure to find out their limitations, if any).

Make sure you get all of the photos developed as soon as you can, and have your main "photographer" spend some time helping you label them all for a scrapbook to present to the bride. If you come across something that's just too embarrassing, don't use it. This should be a good reminder of the evening she spent, and while it may not be suitable for public display like the wedding photos, it should be something she will cherish and be able to share with the participants for years to come.

Also, think about scanning your pictures in order to put together an online scrapbook for everyone to enjoy. That way, you can even include the ones you weren't sure about and ask your attendees to make up captions for them. This will also give everyone an excuse to stay in touch.

And finally, send remaining fees and/or tips to any hired help, and maybe even write a thank-you note if they were particularly good. You never know when you may need to use them again or may need a referral for something else!

So there you have it. Using your friends, your delegation skills and MyPleasure, you have all the tools you need to plan a wonderful, fun and sexy bachelorette party that will be remembered and talked about for the rest of your life!