A few months ago, one of my girlfriends called me in a tizzy. "I think I'm sick or something," she said. "Kevin and I had incredible sex last night, the kind of sex that literally blows your mind, and then the weirdest thing happened -- I peed all over the bed!" I had a little laugh, and then calmed her down. "You aren't sick," I told her, "you ejaculated!"
Although we just started talking about it in the 1980s, women have been ejaculating for centuries. Unfortunately, like the G-Spot, the female ejaculatory organs aren't visible during medical examination or research autopsy, so scientists are reluctant to believe in the phenomenon. Tell that to the millions of women who have had this intense sexual experience! But because we cannot scientifically prove that female ejaculation exists, we cannot discuss it with the same scientific certainty as we can other biological phenomena, such as male ejaculation, pregnancy and menstruation. We can only observe, share our stories and speculate.
Many women have reported similar experiences with regard to ejaculating. In the time leading up to orgasm, women tend to tense their bodies, including their vaginal walls and -- through sheer proximity -- their bladders. As a woman begins to reach orgasm, her body tightens completely, preventing anything from "leaking out." After she hits the plateau, her body releases and she experiences sudden muscular relaxation; everything she was "holding in" is now free to come out, including lubrication, ejaculation and small amounts of urine. This is female ejaculation.
Female ejaculation is a release of fluid from the Skene's glands, which surround the urethra and are similar to the male prostate gland. This fluid is similar in chemical makeup to the fluid produced by the male prostate, and is in no way related to urine. Like sperm, female ejaculation can vary in color and thickness. However, it is usually clear, milky and relatively odorless, with a watery consistency. Again, like male sperm, the taste of female ejaculation can vary from bitter to sweet according to diet, water consumption and a host of other environmental and biological factors.
Some women report just a few drops of ejaculate, while others claim they ejaculate "bucketfuls." Although urine and female ejaculation are both passed through the urethra, urine originates in the bladder and ejaculation originates in the Skene's glands. However, since the Skene's glands are about the size of a pea, it's unlikely that women who ejaculate more than a teaspoon of fluid are expelling pure ejaculation. It's far more likely that the small amount of fluid from her Skene's glands is mixed with some urine, producing the larger quantity.
We're not sure why, but when liquid passes through the urethra during orgasm, it usually causes a more powerful and intense orgasm. Consider Tantric sex: In this Eastern sexual practice, men teach themselves to delay ejaculation, allowing them to climax several times before ejaculation finishes off their erection. Even though this prolonging activity can allow men (and hopefully their partners!) to experience multiple orgasms, many men report that their orgasms are not as intense as when they experience simultaneous orgasm with ejaculation. The same can be said for women and ejaculation. For some reason, the proximity of the urethra to the vaginal opening can cause women to experience the same intense climax that men feel with liquid rushes through their penises. Perhaps it's just one more "exploding" sensation added to the mix -- whatever the case, the consensus is that it feels good and it doesn't hurt anything.
While there's been a great deal of publicity about female ejaculation, there hasn't been a whole lot of research on the subject of acquiring the skills to experience this phenomenon. In other words, science doesn't have a definitive answer as to how to teach your body to ejaculate. But most sexologists agree that you can teach yourself to have more powerful orgasms, which may in turn lead to ejaculation. We recommend trying adult toys specifically designed for G-Spot stimulation. Also, you might want to read up on your G-Spot and make sure you know where it is and what to do with it. While there's no guarantee that G-Spot stimulation will cause you to ejaculate, many women report success with this technique.
Not every woman can -- or wants to -- ejaculate. Some women don't enjoy the sensation of needing to urinate, which can accompany G-Spot manipulation and ejaculation, and some women don't want to go through the effort that may be required to experience ejaculation. Some women are embarrassed and don't want to risk urinating during sex. Many women simply don't know how to ejaculate -- or that they even can! However, ejaculating can feel wonderful. If you're feeling adventurous, we recommend trying it. But don't worry if you can't quite get the hang of it -- your body can only do so much! Some women ejaculate, others don't. If you are in the latter group, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your body can do lots of other interesting things that feel great!