Finding the Elusive G Spot

by Tamar Love

Virtually everyone has heard stories about a magic spot inside a woman that, if properly stimulated, will send her to paroxysms of sexual ecstasy. Known as the G-Spot, this area has been the subject of several books and countless magazine articles. But does it really exist? If so, how do you know how to find your g spot?

The simple answer is yes, the G-Spot does exist, but there's nothing mysterious about it. It's simply an area of increased sensitivity that many women like to have stimulated. Named after Ernst Grafenberg, a German medical doctor who wrote about "an erotic zone located on the anterior wall of the vagina along the course of the urethra that would swell during sexual stimulation," the G-Spot was popularized during the Women's Movement in The G Spot, a best-selling book by Alice K. Ladas, Beverly Whipple and John D. Perry.

The G-Spot is embryonically analogous to the male prostate. In plain English, certain embryonic cells develop one way if the child is female and another way if the baby turns out to be male. In boys, the prostate gland is responsible for the production of fluid that makes up the majority of semen. In girls, the area that would have been the prostate becomes the G-Spot. The reason some medical authorities have said that it doesn't exist is because the G-Spot engorges only with stimulation, making it very hard to locate in autopsy studies, the primary source for new anatomical research.

The G Spot cannot possibly live up to all the hype it has received; it is simply one more pleasant place to stimulate in some women. While all women have a G-Spot, not all women notice anything different when it is stimulated--and some women actually dislike the sensation. So don't be discouraged if you can't find your own G-Spot, or that of a partner. And don't be alarmed if you don't like the sensation. Remember, every body is different!

Finding the G Spot

The G-Spot is located along the upper/front wall of the vagina, about two inches in, towards the stomach. Try some manual exploration. Lie on your back on the floor with your knees bent and rest your feet on the bed in front of you. Insert your middle finger into your vagina and gently stroke the front wall behind the pubic bone, about two inches up. You should feel a patch of skin that has a different texture from the rest of your vaginal walls, slightly rough or "ruffled." Using a "comehither" motion, press into the center of this ruffled patch until you feel an area that is sensitive to pressure. That's your G-Spot, also known as your urethral sponge. It's on the other side of your vaginal wall, which is why you'll probably respond more to pressure than light stroking. The area is about the size of a pea, but can enlarge to the size of a walnut when stimulated. You should also know that many women feel like they need to urinate when this area is stimulated. This is due to the fact that, as it enlarges, it presses on the same nerves that signal a full bladder. Most women find, however, that as stimulation is continued, this feeling goes away and is replaced with pleasurable sensations.

Doing the G-Spot Jiggly
The G Spot is not a magical button, but rather, an area that some women enjoy having stimulated. The following steps are written for self-exploration, but can be modified for use with a partner.

• Relax. This should be fun, not a goal-oriented mission.
• Use a lubricant you like.
• Masturbate in your usual way until you feel aroused.
• Insert one or two fingers into the vagina, crooking them up toward the belly (12 o'clock position if you are lying on your back).
• Press firmly against the roof of the vagina about one-third of the way in.
• You should feel a small ruffled lump that increases in size with continued stimulation.
• Start slow: insert your fingers gently and use soft, gentle motions at first. When you feel the G-Spot area becoming enlarged, use more pressure.
• Remember to keep paying attention to other parts of your body: your breasts, your clitoris ... whatever feels good.
• As your body begins to respond positively and you start feeling pleasure, use more pressure and more rapid motions.
• As you continue to stimulate the G-Spot, you may feel your vagina clench and bear down, the signal that orgasm is imminent. Apply more pressure to the urethral sponge, stroking and manipulating the area around the urethral opening.
• You may feel the urge to urinate. Don't fight it! You may be getting ready to ejaculate. Relax, trust your body and your partner, and see what happens.

Many women find G-Spot stimulation easier and more pleasurable in positions other than on their backs. Try rolling over on your stomach or getting on all fours. Women don't usually enjoy penetration until they are somewhat aroused. Engage in whatever foreplay you find arousing: touching, kissing, stroking, oral sex, talking ... whatever works for you. G-Spot stimulation should come at the middle or the end of your sexual play, not at the beginning. Use lubrication when you're ready for digital penetration, even if your body is already producing natural lubrication, which can often run dry at an inopportune moment. You might also consider purchasing one of the many sex toys designed specifically for G-Spot stimulation.

That's all there is to it. No magic. Some women can have an orgasm from G-Spot stimulation alone. Some say it increases the strength of their orgasms or allows them to be multi-orgasmic. A few even say that stimulation leads to ejaculation. Others dislike stimulation of the area altogether. Experiment and see what feels good to you or your partner. Most of all, have fun. And don't forget -- if you enjoy G-Spot stimulation, be sure to teach your partner how to find it and what to do with it!