Be clear on one thing: a back rub, while divine, is NOT a sensual massage. A
back rub is powerful, short and effective at ridding your body of tension,
aches and pains. Sensual massage is long, languorous and erotic, and
involves a great deal of nudity and intimate touching. You give your mom a
back rub. You give your lover a sensual massage.
If you've never given one of these wonderfully erotic massages, never fear.
Our simple, step-by-step instructions will leave you feeling and acting like
an experienced sensual masseuse or masseur.
Make sure you have the following items on hand:
Before You Begin
Before you start rubbing your honey, take a moment to set the mood:
Lock the door and turn off your cell phone. You want quiet.
Prepare your massage surface, whether it's a professional massage table
or a bed. Provide rolled towels for a neck and knee rest.
Since massage oils stain most fabrics, spread an old (but clean!) flat sheet over your massage surface.
Illuminate the room with sensual lighting. Turn off glaring overhead
lights and drape sheer fabric over floor lamps. Light candles.
Make sure the room smells good: use scented candles, incense or room
Keep cool water nearby for quick hydration.
Put a couple of CDs into the changer so you don't have to stop and put
on a new CD.
Both of you should take a shower, shave and trim your nails.
Talk to your partner about your upcoming experience. Make sure he or she
understands the difference between traditional and sensual massage -- if
she's expecting the former, an erotic massage might be quite unwelcome!
Start by connecting with your partner. This will vary from couple to couple,
so follow your instincts. You might kiss his or her face, lightly touch his
or her body, or gaze into one another's eyes. When you both feel connected,
invite your partner to lie face down on the massage table or bed, and
arrange pillows and towels to his or her liking.
Begin by lightly stroking your partner's body with the tips of your fingers.
Start with the back, and then move to the shoulders, arms, buttocks, thighs
and calves. Remember to use only light, teasing strokes. When you sense that
your partner is relaxed (you might have to ask), you are ready to progress
Pour about two tablespoons of massage oil into the palm of your hand,
and rub your hands together lightly. When the oil is warm and evenly
distributed, begin massaging your partner's back with long, deep strokes.
At the beginning, communicate frequently with your partner to determine
if the strokes are too hard or too soft. Keep your hands in contact with
your partner at all times, take your time with each rhythmic-yet-sensitive
stroke, and proceed from long, gliding strokes to shorter, deeper strokes.
Use your body weight rather than your arm strength for deep strokes;
during gliding strokes, keep your knees slightly bent and fluid, and don't
lean over the table.
Once you have developed a rhythm that pleases both of you, move on to
the shoulders and arms, and progress to the legs and feet, brushing the
buttocks as you move up and down your partner's body.
Ask your partner to turn over. Begin massaging the chest, arms and
hands. Pay special attention to your female partner's breasts: don't be too
invasive at this stage, but don't ignore them. Lightly stroke the nipples
Glide down to the legs, brushing the genitals on your way down. After
finishing the fronts of the legs and feet, glide back up and slowly brush
over the genitals. Tease your partner by brushing his or her inner thighs
near the genitals, and very lightly touching the pubic region.
Allow the erotic energy to build until it seems like a natural time to
start shifting the focus to more explicitly sexual activities.
Look into your partner's eyes as you begin touching his or her genitals.
Make sure the rapport you built at the beginning of the massage still
exists; if it does not, try to reestablish it by slowing down and asking
your partner a few questions about what he or she is experiencing. As you
proceed with genital massage, remember to use your free hand to tease the
rest of your partner's body.
Female Genital Massage
Start by gently rubbing the entire vulva, follow with clitoral stimulation,
and finish with internal and clitoral stimulation -- don't forget the G-Spot!
Remember that vaginal penetration usually doesn't feel good unless
she is already in a fairly high state of arousal. If your partner is
comfortable, feel free to use a vibrator to assist you in the massage.
Male Genital Massage
Begin by applying some lubricant to the palm of your hands and rubbing it
gently into the penis and testicles. Male genital massage is guided by one
main principle: slow down and stop or change what you are doing just before
ejaculation becomes inevitable. Ask your partner to let you know if he is
about to ejaculate, or develop a signal – verbal cues, raising a hand,
pulling away slightly, or even subtle body language cues can all work well.
It's usually best to vary strokes at the beginning, and then concentrate on
one or two kinds of strokes as the massage nears completion. By bringing
your lover to the peak without allowing him to ejaculate, you prolong the
massage and help your lover have a more intense orgasm.
Hold Each Other
After the massaging is finished and you are both relaxed, remember to spend
some time together before falling asleep or running out the door. You have
both just shared an extremely intimate experience. Hold each other, talk to
each other, and enjoy the intimacy as long as you can. Be positive about the
experience, especially if it was your first time. Remember, practice makes