Sex Toys for Men, Women and Couples
Bulletins from the Bedroom

Sex Lubes, Balms, Dusts, Lotions & Potions

No, those aren't the contents of a witch's cauldron! They're body ointments that excel at making your lovemaking and erotic evenings sexy, sensual and romantic. Of course, if you don't know how to use them, they can also make your sheets sticky, your hands oily and your head achy and overwhelmed by heavy scents. We've learned this lesson the hard way; we've tried out numerous massage oils, arousal balms and edible oils -- and every other possible chemical and natural formula that can be rubbed on a person's body.

Our testing will hopefully benefit you as we share the lessons we've learned over the years. Here's a handy "How To" guide on all things slippery and sensual.

How To Use Massage Oils

The first thing to know about massage oils is--despite what you might think--lighter is better, for two reasons. Foremost, you'll be slathering the massage oil all over one another's bodies; the last thing you want is a sticky coat you can scrape off with your nails. But also, lighter oils have lighter scents, which means neither of you will swoon from the heady perfumes some manufacturers infuse their oils with. I know, you're thinking that more scent is a good thing, but after you've poured half a bottle of massage oil on your lover, the scent of lavender can get a little overwhelming. Nobody wants to develop head pains during foreplay!

Here are a few hints on using massage oils:

  • Pour the massage oil directly onto your lover's skin, instead of on your hand first as you would during a regular massage. He or she will get a sexual sensation from the sudden feeling of the cool massage oil trickling onto his or her skin, and then the warming sensation of your hand rubbing the oil into him or her.
  • Cover your lover's entire body in the oil! No well-oiled massage should be limited to just the back and shoulders. In addition to giving your lover the gift of total relaxation, you'll both enjoy the slippery friction of your oiled bodies rubbing together during intercourse.
  • An important tip: either use sheets you're willing to get rid of, or buy a special sheet of fabric to put on your bed, or floor, or wherever your massage play is taking place. Many massage oils stain, and the stains can be difficult to get out. You might want to visit a fabric store and buy a large piece of fabric in an erotic pattern made of something that will feel good against your skin--try silk or pure cotton. Get a large swath that will cover your whole massage area--it can be your "erotic massage" material, signaling to your lover that it's erotic massage night every time he or she sees the material out on the bed!
  • We don't recommend using massage oils as a sexual lubricant, although some people do it anyway. However, oftentimes massage oils are too thick to really work as a lubricant, and aren't condom safe. The chemicals used to infuse oils with scents can also irritate sensitive skin.

A Note on Warming Oils

Typically, a warming oil is cool when applied to the skin, and then warms either with the touch of a hand rubbing it or somebody blowing on it. We think these ointments are great for foreplay: massage them into the inner thighs or inside knees and then gently blowing on the oil--instant heat! A word of warning, though: for some reason, warming oils tend to have heavier scents than their non-warming counterparts.

How (and Why) To Use Erotic Dusts

Body dusts are, in our opinion, the most underrated and overlooked products of all the body play options. Oils, balms and other liquids can create heated, sensual encounters; body dusts are a nice change of pace. They also travel better than their oil-based cousins, reducing the risk of spilling a heavily scented oil all through your travel bag. A body dust is a light powder that you sprinkle on and then rub into your lover's skin.

Generally, body dusts are infused with erotic scents like honey or berry, and while they don't create any slippery friction, they'll leave your lover's body extremely smooth for a unique feel during lovemaking. Most body dusts also come with a feather tickler of some sort to use when applying the dust to your partner's skin. If your dust doesn't come with one, we really recommend picking one up. Not only will your lover enjoy the feeling of the feather on his or her skin, but it will keep the dust from clumping or getting all over the room.

How To Use Arousal Balms

Arousal balms aren't really meant for full body massage; they're intended for concentrated use on sensitive parts of the body, such as the nipples, genitals, inner thighs and other erogenous zones. Most are flavored with an infusion of mint or other natural ingredients.

Typically, one person puts a small amount on his or her finger, and then rubs it into the skin of the desired spot, further stimulating that area with their mouth or fingers. The arousal balm will tingle when first applied, and then often acts like a warming oil as it is stimulated, changing from a tingling sensation to a warming sensation -- though some people experience a tingling sensation for longer.

If your lover (male or female) has sensitive nipples, arousal balms can take nipple play to a new level. We recommend starting slowly with a small amount of whatever arousal gel you're using, until you figure out exactly how powerful the effect on your partner is! Some people are more sensitive than others, and a small amount can send them reeling with sensation. While that might be a good thing sometimes, you don't want your lover to get woozy!

How To Use Body Paints

People rave about the joys of using body paints for erotic play--and we're no different. Again, make sure you're not using sheets that you want to keep clean forever! While many body paints are water soluble, some are not so easy to get out of your linens. A few other pointers:

  • When painting your lover's body, make sure to use long strokes. While the dots of a happy face may look cute, it's more arousing for your lover to feel a paintbrush or your finger running the length of his or her body.
  • They don't call them erogenous zones for nothing... if you want to have fun, paint your lover's upper arms, inner thighs, stomach or other hot spots. If you want to have steamy, painted sex, use that brush on areas you know will arouse your partner.
  • Don't limit yourself to just body paints! Try using chocolate, sundae toppings and whatever else you can get your hands on!

Chocolate, Chocolate, Chocolate (and Other Sweets)

It may be messy, it may be sticky and it may give you a toothache later, but the occasional romp in mother nature's favorite candy is a welcome addition to any sexual repertoire. Here are some helpful hints when playing with chocolate:

  • Chocolate does not come off a person's body easily, so don't play with syrupy sauces just before you have to go out on the town. Make time for thorough cleaning and grooming.
  • Experiment with different chocolates. Traditional chocolate syrup is lighter in texture, but tends to run all over with little control. A chocolate frosting requires a little more work than just dumping a container on your lover and might be better for extended seductions. Find what's right for both of you!

Finally, whichever sticky solution you and your lover decide to rub all over each other, make sure you talk about it before you pour it on. While there's a lot to be said for spontaneity, some people really don't like being slathered with substances. You'll do better if you determine which category your partner falls into before you haul out the "old" sheets!
 

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